The internet has backed a woman who says she’s thinking of leaving her husband due to his issue with her sister’s “ugly” boyfriend.
She explained that the 26-year-old couple has been together for 10 years and have two children.
“My sister is my role model and like a second mother to me,” wrote a woman in a Reddit post that has since been deleted. “She is a successful architect, and she is very beautiful. Tall and slim with a beautiful face. Wherever she goes people get silent and turn their heads to watch her.”
Her sister started seeing the new boyfriend two years before, and the poster said: “He’s a builder, uneducated, poor, on the fat side, big unkempt ginger bears and hair, and like 10cm shorter than her without heels.”
“At first everyone was surprised—except me I thought he was brilliant,” she explained. “They made fun of him behind my sister’s back and just thought she was wasting her life. Later when they understood that my sister was happy and that they truly love each other, people were supportive.”
But while the rest of the family accepted the relationship, the poster’s husband did not warm to the man. “My husband hates my sister’s boyfriend still,” she said. “He can’t imagine why my sister is with him and he is livid that her boyfriend is moving in with her in her beautiful city apartment soon.”
Leanne Leonard is a licensed marriage and family therapist with Mindpath Health. “It is common for families to have fallouts when there is a lack of mutual understanding and willingness to resolve conflicts, especially when there are displays of irrational behavior and responses.”
Showing irritation and upset every time they spend time together and frequently bringing up his issues with the boyfriend, the poster was struggling to understand her husband’s perspective.
His reaction to her sister’s boyfriend made her worry that he may have feelings for her sister.
“I got very upset and asked him if he had the hots for my sister, or why is he so bothered? He told me not to be ridiculous since she is ten years older than us,” she wrote.
Concerned that her husband was not being honest about this, the poster said that she felt she would need to leave her husband because of this.
“In reviewing the descriptions of the husband’s behavior, my thoughts are that the issues lie with the husband’s jealousy and feelings of inadequacy,” suggested Leonard.
Online, others agreed, and one commenter wrote: “He’s either in love with your sister or he’s got some insecurities about his own appearance that are coming to the surface.”
“I would recommend that the wife confront her husband on the underlying issues that are causing his anger and disdain toward the boyfriend. Do not get caught up in discussions of his having a crush on the sister or the dislike of the boyfriend, but rather, what is happening inside the husband that is causing the anger and confusion?” said Leonard. “If this is a pattern of behavior, it is time to consider third-party intervention, like marital and individual therapy.”